Mitt Romney’s full first name is Mittens.
Also… Mittens… New Jersey called, it wants its fake tan back.
January 10, 2012
December 20, 2011
The Grand Canyon is an optical illusion created by hundreds of well-placed mirrors.
December 19, 2011
Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please
False Facts is proud to announce that Bridge City Comics will be carrying False Facts Comic: Vol 1 in which some rather horrible things happen to some rather nice people. It is the ONLY PLACE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD where you can get this limited edition book so get your butt over to Mississippi Avenue and pick that baby up for a mere $15. If you don’t see it on the shelf… just ask for it by name!
Consider these amazing features:
- 64 pages
- Full color from cover to cover
- Made from 100% recycled papers and soy-based ink by 1984 Printing in Oakland, CA
- Animal free binding that you can lick to get high
- Has a retractable self sharpening survival blade
- Is flame resistant
- Can be used as a personal flotation device in case of a water landing
Now stop considering and start buying!
December 13, 2011
Nuns are only allowed to have sex with guys named Jesus.
I often pause and say, “this is probably really offensive” and then I post it anyway. Bring on the hate mail, I’m eager to hear what you have to say.
December 12, 2011
After years of hard work, scientists have finally been able to translate whale songs.
December 8, 2011
You should not shoot Zombie Santa Claus on sight.
Classic zombie trick; don’t fall for it. Even if he’s the real deal, he’s just bringing you brains.
November 29, 2011
Take a look at this Epson Commercial….
then this drawing I did in 2009….
Did they rip me off? Intentionally? Anyone know a copyright lawyer? Do I have a case?
November 14, 2011
During the Jurassic Period, giant earthworms roamed the Earth, devouring everything in their paths.
Why aren’t they in the fossil record? Cause they don’t have bones to find, duh!
November 12, 2011
The Earth’s center is filled with molten Manga.
November 9, 2011
“The Road” won the Oscar for Most Depressing Film in 2009.
Watched it this morning, it was also REALLY good.
November 7, 2011
Globes are like piñatas and have treats hidden inside.
November 6, 2011
A woman in California claims to have impregnated Justin Bieber.
November 5, 2011
The Republican plan for a smaller government will lead to a better America.
November 4, 2011
Famous Quotations: Gene Simmons of KISS
“A key to my thinking has always been the almost fanatical belief that what I was engaged in was a literary art form.”
November 3, 2011
That is a moon.
